A Good Mom

Being a mother of two is challenging in new ways. How can you give each kid the sort of attention they want and crave when you have to bring them both along? I've noticed that Camilla's behavior is much better when she has something new to look forward to. It helps her go to sleep at night when we talk about what we'll do tomorrow. It helps her take a nap when I promise to watch Minnie Mouse with her when she wakes up. She likes order, and even though she's had to learn to deal with some chaos, she appreciates when we try to do things her way. So we try really hard to keep our promises to her.

Last night I told Millie we could go to the park today and play at the splash pad. Despite the fact that she is terrified of splash pads these days, she was thrilled. So I had to follow through today, even though I knew it would be a difficult experience. I spent a long time debating what to bring: the big stroller would let me leave Luke in his car seat asleep and give me extra storage underneath, but would mean Camilla would have to walk. The small stroller would mean Camilla could ride, but Luke would have to be worn in some type of hot fabric. The wagon would fit the car seat and Camilla, but would not fit into the car. It's a good thing Luke likes to be warm and snug and close to momma.

There were a lot of things that made me feel like a bad mom today. I had a newborn baby (he still has his ugly umbilical cord stump!) out in the heat of the day with nothing to cover him with unless I laid a blanket over him. Camilla hesitantly walked around the outskirts of the splash pad but would not go in without me holding her hand, so she didn't really get to enjoy it. Luke needed to eat, so I just watched helplessly as Camilla wandered further away towards the playground. Eventually I had to make him stop so I could go retrieve her and prevent her from playing where she wanted to play because I had no hands free to help her. I had to bribe her to leave because I didn't want her playing with some crazy old woman who was playing with all the kids and 'teaching' them about Noah's Ark. Then we walked back to the car in the heat of the day with the sun in Camilla's eyes most of the way. But I HAD promised her ice cream (aforementioned bribe), so I was determined to get her some.

We stopped at Sonic on the way home and Camilla got their one-size vanilla ice cream cone. It was huge and melty, and I handed it to her and told her it was okay if she made a mess with it. I'm not that kind of mom. I don't let my kid make messes and think it's cute. She can't even stand for her hands to be dirty because she's so used to me coming right along with a baby wipe to clean up the stickiness. I heard "Oh no!" from the backseat a few times, but told her it was okay, I'd clean her up when we got home. I could see enough of her face in my mirror to know she hadn't lost the whole thing, so I just let it be. When we got home, this is what I found:

And oh my goodness, was she ever happy! She thought it was so funny that mommy had let her get messy, and she just giggled and giggled while I rinsed her off in the shower. And those giggles made me feel like a good mom for the day.

Luke only gets to enjoy mom's milk for now, and I don't get to enjoy any dairy because it seems to give him digestive problems. But hopefully someday he'll get to eat ice cream cones as well.