The Best Three Years

Yesterday officially marked three years of marital bliss for the Transtrums. It's kind of funny how the longer we are married, my perception of the time changes. For instance, I used to count the time in months. We've been married for four whole months now! That's, like, so long! Then it became a question of whether it was okay to round up or not. We're going on 2 years now. Okay, so we've technically been married only 1 year and 3 months, but one year just seems like such an insignificant number that no I longer want to claim it. Now I hear how long others have been married, and it sounds like a long time until we hit that mark and realize it's not that big of a deal. You guys have been married for three years? What must that be like to be married for that long? (Do people finally quit thinking of you as newlyweds?) becomes: Hmmm. Three years. I guess it's not really that long after all.

So maybe I sound dorky, but I am beginning to realize that the older I get, the less old I really feel. Sometimes I start to panic and want to rush my life ahead, but fortunately my husband has the undying patience that only a professional student can have (especially when it comes to life being put on hold for just a little longer), and he helps me realize that there are things to enjoy at each stage of our lives. How grateful I am for the experiences that we have shared in the past three years! Yesterday while we were driving home from our anniversary "dinner date," Mark told me that he has learned that we have much more in common than he realized when we were dating and deciding to get married. I asked if he really thought that was the case or if it is because I've been open to all of his interests. (We have established long ago that Mark has interests; I have random fetishes, few of which ever develop into full-fledged interests before I tire of them.) Sitting here now, I believe that our marriage has grown stronger as we have grown more alike. Not that we see eye to eye on everything, but we have learned from each other and from our mutual experiences in such a way to make us more united in our purposes and goals.

I've seen compromise at work, and that's not something I would have believed we were capable of. I've learned that most fights begin with misguided thoughts in my head, and therefore the unnecessary ones are often preventable. I've learned that I'm happier if I prevent an unnecessary fight. :) I have realized that during the times when I don't feel like my needs are being met, I'm usually very guilty of not considering Mark's needs. I have always felt happier when I am with Mark and miss him horribly when we're apart for even a day. I have felt incredibly loved and completely content with the idea of spending eternity with my chosen companion. Some of these things may seem cliche or trite-- the kind of advice you give to engaged couples to prepare them for the adventure of marriage. But these are not lessons you can ever teach anybody; they must be learned individually. These are the things that make marriage even better after three years than you can ever imagine on the day you are married. And it takes some of the hardest, most heartbreaking experiences to realize how much you have come to trust and rely on each other.

Okay, so enough sappy musings about our personal relationship. I love Mark so much and have had so much fun these past three years! He's given me opportunities I never imagined possible, and despite my bittersweet feelings about the East Coast (okay, so Ithaca), I am thrilled that his love of learning has brought us here for a few years. I'm sure we have many lessons to learn in the years to come, and I only hope they bring us even closer.